Chapter Ten

She looped her arm into his as they took in the cool night London air. Her boots pounded loudly against the sidewalk as they walked. Not that walking alone in the city at night really ever scared her but being with Jon did provide a little sense of security she wasn’t used to.

He fished out his cigarettes and offered her the pack. “Mind if I? And want one?”

She shook her head. “No thanks, you go ahead. I never understood the point of the habit myself.”

“Yeah, not my most proud habit… but I can’t seem to kick it,” he mumbled with the cigarette hanging until he flicked the lighter until the end glowed cherry red.

She shrugged, “Well if it helps it helps. I just thought being a singer it can’t be that great for your throat, right?”

He tucked the pack and lighter back in his pocket and extended his arm around her shoulder. “Ok, now you sound like my wife.” He blew out a blue plume of smoke and sighed.

She chuckled. “Well, people can do what they want. I’d never make someone do something they didn’t want to – was just curious.” She hadn’t wanted to go there in her head but now she was curious just what his wife was like. Had she been a nag?

Within the dark street his eyes gleamed in the amber light of the streetlamps.

“I know, ignore me. Do you miss your family being all the way over here?”

“A little, but I like the whole being out on my own. Do what I want – when I want it. The whole idea of having to make it and having nothing to fall back in gets me a little buzz. I can’t fail.” Her parents always wanted the best for Colby and her Dad fully supported her move to London to follow her career, her mother had mixed emotions about it. But on the whole they were happy she was successful.

“I get that. Must be nice to have nothing to worry about except yourself.” He flicked his ash out to the side before taking another long drag.

She tucked her arm around his waist as she turned them down a small alleyway at the end of the street. “Why can’t you just do that?”

He snorted, “Why can’t I just do that?” he pondered. “I can’t just do that…I have a band to worry about …my music…whether it’s relevant, how long we’ll be around, the last album didn’t do as well as it should of.” He took another deep drag as he blew the smoke out.

She watched as his whole face closed over, the crease in his forehead and the flattening of his eyes… all happened in just one sentence. It was almost as if someone had dumped a bag of sand on his shoulders.

She pulled her arm tighter around his. “Ok, so you do have a lot to worry about but at the end of the day when you’re alone and the world is shut off around you, who worries about you?” she asked.

He raised an eyebrow, “alright, I see your point… my wife used to obviously but now….” He trailed off.

“But now, I guess it’s just me…”

She nodded, it felt a little strange when he leaned into her. Did he always need someone to be there? Would he expect that to be her?

“Well, sounds like you’re doing a fine job at it.” She teased leading him into the small Japanese restaurant nestled up a small staircase.

“Hey now, not my fault we can’t always be as …” he trailed off as he met her eyes.

“As what?” she leaned in close, their lips just centimetres apart.

“Free…” the way he said it, wasn’t a revelation, it wasn’t a statement.

It was a longing.

She let her lips brush against his to taste him. His breath, still heavy with tobacco but the taste of his dark flavour still there. Her hands cupped his neck drawing him closer, and his hands scooped under her coat pressing them together.

There was something in him that was so different, so inviting… so intriguing. She wanted to know more about him, everything... which was odd as she never had cared enough before about anyone. She didn’t really understand it.

She moaned as her body folded into his before they were interrupted by the waiter politely coughing. Her lips dragged across his jaw as she pulled back. “Pity, I could have let that go a lot further.” She traced the tip of her finger across his bottom lip as she bit down on her own.

His eyes rested on her lips, as he signalled his hand to the waiter for two. “Oh really, how far?”

She lifted her toes and arched into him, “Far enough that you would have forgotten about all these people here…”

“I hate you, now come on woman I’m hungry you already owe me for being late and missing our first dinner... I haven’t decided how I am going to punish you yet…”

She chuckled and let her arms fall back and his hand linked in hers. “I’d like to see you try; you know you’d never be able to... I’d always win and you know it…” She laughed again when he didn’t reply and just shook his head. The waiter seated them to a private booth which she slid into, he pulled off his jacket and was about to sit down opposite her when his phone rang.

“Oh jeeze, sorry I won’t be a minute. I’ll need to take this.” Without a word he turned and strode quickly out of the restaurant.

Must be some music business. She started to flick through the wine menu and decided to order a bottle before he got back to the table. The waiter was just pouring the two glasses of Pinot Noir when he came back in rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hey, all done?”

~~

He slid back into the booth and his eyes fell to the glass. “Did you order this?” he demanded. Christ that came out all wrong. It’s just wine, Jon.

“It’s wine, it’s a good one –“her coral pink lips wrapped around her glass as she drank.

“It’s not what I drink.” He jammed his phone further down into his pocket wishing it was a hole to hell. His wife, chose to ring now of all times to confirm the divorce settlement. Why the fuck couldn’t she wait till the lawyers worked it all out. Of course they argued what they wanted, he had no pre-nuptial agreement so if he wasn’t careful she could take him for everything he was worth.

“Well order what you want then, don’t let me stop you…” her blue eyes flicked away from his. Shit, he had no right to be a prick to her.

He waved his hand at her, “its fine, I’ll get that next one.” He’d already deemed it was a two if not three bottle of wine night from the minute he’d disconnected Dorothea’s call.

He picked his glass up and rolled it in his hand, the woman on the end of the call was so different to the woman who sat opposite him right now. Dot had the strength physically and verbally to pulverise him to the ground where Colby had the strength to control him.

And that scared him.

The woman was a mystery, so free and so casual there had to be a reason behind it all – a burnt relationship, something. People weren’t just an extreme of something for the sake of it. He should know, he freakin’ wrote songs about it.

“Who was on the phone?” she asked, her wavy dark hair was swept around her shoulders from the night breeze and her cheeks had a flush of pink from the chill.

“No one important,” they chose a selection of starters before he leaned back in his chair. “Let’s play a game.”

She crossed her legs under the table and flattened her palms on the table. “Keep talking, I’m interested…” she licked her lips slowly.

Not THAT kind of game, dammit.

He took a long sip of his wine. One way to find out more about her. Part of him wondered why the fuck he cared, he was going back to New York once filming ended and it would be the end of the relationship. And after Dot tonight… he’d make sure it was the end.

She nodded, “Alright… do go on…”

“I ask you a question and you can ask me one…”

“Ohh exciting… I have a better game…” His knees hit the table when the tip of her boot grazed against his leg.

“Yes, you probably do but I’m not ready to become a porn star just yet…” The waiter laid down the salmon and shrimp before making sure they were satisfied. He plucked a piece of salmon with his chopsticks before beginning.

“Have you ever been with a woman?”

She smirked and licked the tip of her finger as she finished her mouthful. “Yes.”

His brow winged. “You are so going to need to tell me more about that.”

“What is with you men and girl on girl action? It’s not that much of a big deal…”

It was too late, his mind had already gone there. Fuck.

“Tell me,” his finger traced around the rim of his glass. His whole keeping this in his control had just gone right out the window.

“Nothing to tell, it was college… I was drunk and dared, I never do dares in half measure. It was to make out with a girl…and well we did a bit more than that…”

He leaned forward not taking his eyes off her lips. “And…?” Fuck if he already didn’t have an erection.

“We went all the way – as far as women go. I don’t need to draw you a diagram I am sure you’ve seen enough porn in your lifetime to know.”

His eyes narrowed. “Well yes, but still… nothing like hearing about it. So, did you like it?”

She took a long drink before she stabbed a prawn with her chopstick. “Yeah, wasn’t bad." Her lips curled as she chewed.

Jon shifted in his seat. “Wasn’t bad? What the hell is that meant to mean?”

“Just that,” she grinned as she twisted her chopstick around the salmon.

“Tell me…” Fuck, his mind was already burning with the image of her going down on another girl.

"It was…different…I like men though." "Anyway, it’s my turn. Have you ever been with a man?”

Jon felt the wine burn through his nostrils as he snorted it out. “God, no!” he spluttered. “You think I look like that?”

“You don’t judge a book by its cover Jon…”

“Indeed you don’t.” Fuck. “No, no just girls for me…”

“Well you don’t know until you try, you know.” She said matter of factly.

“Oh no, I know… believe me. Alright, ever been in love?” There we go.

“Nope.” She took the bottle and refilled her own glass before she refilled his.

“What, never?” he asked surprised.

She shrugged. “Nope, never--you?”

He nodded, still surprised at her answer. “Yeah, I have. My wife of course… in the beginning. Are you sure you never have been? College boyfriends?”

“Sure, I had boyfriends but none I fell in love with. That’s not that hard to believe is it, Jon?”

“No of course not. I just…”

She laughed and shook her head. “You’re trying to figure out why I am like I am, aren’t you?”

His head snapped back up. “Well, no I just find it hard to believe someone like you hasn’t been in love.” God, he must sound like an idiot.

“Well believe it, hasn’t happened. I don’t know if it ever will. Maybe I'm just not meant to love someone? Who knows.”

Ok, so she didn’t get burned by anyone, but was she lying? But up to now, why would she? She was open with everything else in her life. In fact she’d been a lot more forthcoming to him than he was with her.

“You can’t fully believe that, can you?”

Why would someone even think that, someone as sweet and fun as she was.

“Jon,” she said softly in a voice she'd never used with him. “Why is it bothering you so much? Am I so abnormal to just be enjoying life and everything that I do?”

He sighed. “No, of course not. I just…” Christ how the fuck did he explain it without sounding like an asshole. What the hell difference was it even going to make to their relationship? She was a lot of fun and he was getting laid. End of story.

“Well, what is it Jon? Should I be a basket case? Need someone to save me? Is that it? Because I am comfortable with who I am and what I'm doing. Because I am happy. I have to have a reason that made me this way?” She stood up and gathered her coat and purse.

Shit.

“Colby, please. That’s not what I meant." He rose with her and scratched his head. “God, sit down… let me explain.”

“I think you did a good job of it. If you seriously think of me that way – maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I don’t know what you wanted me to say..." She pulled her coat on and tugged roughly at the tie around her waist. “That someone broke my heart, so I won’t commit to a relationship and I like just having fun."

She snatched her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “It’s you that has the issue. As soon as someone knows I won’t commit, they're out of there. Good to know you live up to the expectation.”

“Colby, please. I’m sorry.”

“Good bye Jon.” He caught the smell of mint as she walked straight past him out of the restuarant, and didn't look back once.